dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
