I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
