if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
