Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
