omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
