We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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