so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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