I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I believe in your delicious
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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