the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
