My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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