You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
