Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
