so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize