He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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