I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
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