so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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