Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
