Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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