Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
