apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
