some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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