every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
