Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My vagina is officially offended.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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