I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
