OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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