I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
