dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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