My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
