No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You're like the curious george of whores
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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