im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
