Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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