Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
