I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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