I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
