The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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