He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
