Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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