I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
