just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
