2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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