My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
