I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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