He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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