she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
