I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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