I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
