I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's never too late to be topless.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
