Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize