he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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