If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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