Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
