dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
