i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
