both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
