That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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