I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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