I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
