Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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