I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
