just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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